One Final Scream: The Scream franchise

Before torture porn stole the horror movie crown from slashers, there was the ultimate horror franchise complete with guide-book: Wes Craven’s suspense soaked Scream. Forget supernatural serial killers and creepy Japanese chicks, however camp it may be Scream made audiences jump with strategically timed creepy music and the theory that seemingly normal high school kids are actually horror movie-obsessed deranged serial killers.

Hey there!

After reaching cult-like status can the ultimate slasher collection successfully return with one last memorable punch? Take a deep breath and remember: don’t have sex, don’t answer the bloody phone, for God’s sake don’t ever say “I’ll be back,” and remember, Ghostface’s knife can stab through any door.

Scream

Based loosely on the killings of the Gainesville Ripper, the original half piss-take half blood-fest paved the way for a flurry of spoofs and earned itself a permanent cult-status. Sydney Prescott may be the most annoying character known to man (seriously, dude, how many lives can one chick have?), but hey, you can’t get a much better principal than the Fonz. My favourite bit? Rose McGowan’s garage-door death. Although Drew Barrymore’s 90s bob and sweater combo is also pretty sweet.

Regretting that last donut?

Scream 2

Sydney’s all grown up, attempting to be a college student while making the most of caller ID. Character development in a horror film sets Scream apart from the masses, and the whole playing-on-the-idea-of-horror-movies-now-playing-on-the-idea-of-the-sequel (still with me?) is just a further example of Scream’s deliciously original concept. Not as good as the original, but still a damn good effort.
Best bit: Will Smith’s wifey getting the stab while watching Stab. Oh, the irony!

GIMME BACK MY POPCORN BITCH!

Scream 3

Now this is where it flags a bit. The film-within-a-film and the ‘revelation’ at the end can’t save this from being a mediocre ‘final’ chapter.
But who cares about the plot, I just get too distracted by Courtney Cox’s hair.

Shit, she's spotted a mirror...

Scream 4

Now how the feck is this one gonna work.

How can a generation who will happily watch human centipedes eating each other’s shit flinch at the sight of Ghostface flopping around clumsily in his comical robes!?

LOLZ.

The reality is that they probably won’t. But Scream 4 ups the camp and creates a ridiculously over-the-top ending that makes it a full-blown parody of itself. Pretentious film students will be all over this shiz.

Scream 4 introduces a new set of Woodsboro faces, a ton of iPhones complete with Ghostface apps together with an annoying kid with a webcam permanently attached to his head to make a seemingly new breed of Scream that in reality relies on pretty much the same techniques as the first three films.

Old-school Screamers

New kids on tha block... complete with irritating live blogger

Scream fans will pick up on the mirrored moments from the previous films and in typical Scream fashion (and quite possibly the only reason that most people will want to watch this movie) you’re left guessing right until the end. Will Gale Weathers ever shut her trap? Will Dewey stop being the most useless bumbling cop since Chief Wiggum? Will Sydney bite the dust? One thing’s for sure, you’ll be yelling at the idiots onscreen for the duration of the movie, as always. Enjoy.

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2 Responses to “One Final Scream: The Scream franchise”

  1. DJ DeepThroat Says:

    Sounds shit. thanks for the warning!!

    • hannahmayk Says:

      It wasn’t actually shit, it was just a bit ridiculous. But I did enjoy that it continually took the piss out of itself. I will always have a soft spot for Scream!

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